Rage, hate, love and ecstacy

Image: Exams
Image courtesy of www.learningenglish.org.uk

I've just today realise how pointless mock exams are. Feel free to take the piss and call me an arse for not realising it until now, but looking back, they really are just a way of shooting your blood pressure through the roof and off somewhere near Venus maybe, or perhaps Saturn. I've always wanted to visit there!

Basically, all the teachers hype you up and "prepare" (used VERY loosely) you for exams which and this is a true and honest quote, "could change the rest of your schooling life". Firstly, my schooling life had 4 months to go, and to be fair, I doubt much could change in 4 frickin months. Secondly, they didn't. Not one bit.

Mock exams are supposed to get you ready for the real thing, let you experiance what it's like to take a real GCSE exam, and prepare you mentally for the challenge of sitting in a room with half your year group staring at a piece of paper thinking "why the fuck didn't I revise this?!?".

What did they do for me? Broke me down mentally, fucked me over for Christmas, made me feel 2 fecking inches tall when I got my results, and eventually made me lose any trust in myself to take exams and pass them. They broke my confidence down into tiny little pieces so small you could shove them into Mr Tight-arse UK with plenty of room to spare. I was devastated.

Now looking back, they didn't prepare me, they are NOTHING like real exams, and are a waste of time, simply there to stress you out for christmas.

On the subject of exams, I'm right in the middle of my GCSE's, as is Jules. 6 or so down, 12 ish to go. They're suprisingly tough mentally. Conditions can eitherbe freezing or boiling, and if you're tired, you're really fucked up. English was my worst, and probably went as bad as it could ever possibly go. You may think "oh that's nothing, my **** exam was worse, I only answered half of it" etc etc. Ok, well, try this. 2 hours in the exam... I wrote a paragraph, which I then proceeded to cross out. In other words, I wrote jack shit...

Why? I have no idea. But I came out of that exam in anopther dimension I swear. I just wasn't there.

One person though keeps me going though. Jules is always there, always on hand to give me a hug, keep me mentally fit. And she's even now coming round in the mornings and shifting my fat arse out of my warm, cosy bed. Damn I miss my bed in the mornings now!

One thing inspired this post... http://pazuzuyoujerk.blogspot.com/2005/12/exams-exams-bristol-and-oh-look-exams.html

"One of which was getting stuff sorted for the Ball at the end of year 11. We've found what is, hopefully, the perfect dress for Jules. Suffice to say, she looked b-e-a-utiful and I cannae wait!"

Remember that? I sure do, well, after reading it I do. I tell you what, looking at the photos below this post, didn't Jules look an absolute STUNNER. Regardless of what she thinks, fuck me I nearly had to stitch my jaw to my head. Beyond gogeous, she really was. (And believe me, it looked a million times better in real life!!!)

So, thats my life at the moment really. Wish me (and Jules) luck, it'll all be over in 2 weeks!
huds601

Year 11 Leavers Ball - 17/05/06 - Highlights

Yup, it's that time of the year when all us big kids leave school and continue to infect your world! Here's a few pics from the leavers ball last night for you general amusement!

Image: Jules and huds601 (Dan) before the ball, at Jules house


Image: The Mysterious Jake!

Image: Emma, Jules and Jess outside Jurys, Bristol

Image: Kay, Becca and Jules, inside Jurys, Bristol

Image: Awixth!

Image: The Dancefloor, Raving!

Image: Emma, in her specially fitted dress!

There you go, enjoy :)
huds601

Has the UK lost all sense of moral?

Image: 14 Week Ultrasound
Image courtesy of www.birth.com.au

The UK is one of the nicest places to visit. Lovely beaches, pleasant kind hearted citizens, villages and countryside. Not quite...

Front page of the Sun today... An 11 year old girl is weeks away form becoming the UK's youngest ever mum. Have I missed something here?!? 11 years old? 11?! That's barely comprehensive school!

The basic jist of the sotry is an 11 year old girl got pissed one night, met a nice 15 year old lad, lost her virginity to him, was too stupid/pissed/high on god knows what to use a condom on her first goddam time, ends up pregnant, and decides to keep it. Then 8 months down the line someone somewhere told her she can make money off of this too, so she sells her story exclusively to the Sun...

WTF?!?!

Firstly, 11 years old, and she's out getting pissed. That's bad enough. At 11 you shouldn't even be able to get hold of frigging booze, let alone enough to get completely legless.

Secondly, why the hell if you're going to lose it at 11 did you not use a bloody condom. £1.50 tops to save yourself form basically a ruined life. At the age of 11 a baby is something you really shoul;dn't have to deal with. It's not fair on you, it's not fair on the perosn who's going to have to look after it during the day while your at school, and it's not bloody fair on the kid. You may say I'm wrong, but just imagine if your mum was only 11 years older than you, by the time you're in secondary school, she'll maybe have just finished Uni...

Thirdly, 20 roll-ups a day. Britain and it's "future" is turning stupider and more and more chav by the minute! EVERYONE knows the health risks from cigarettes. If you don't, maybe you've been strapped to a rocket orbiting the planet "I don't give a fuck" for the last 30 years with Tiki-Tape over your eyes and comically over-sized cotton buds shoved in your ears. How at the age of 11 can someone get served enough, or get enough tobacco, filters, and papers to make 20 roll-ups a day, and if her parents didn't know, how the fuck did they not find out. If they did, why the fuck have they not done somethign about it! For shit sake...

Fourthly, she's quoting to have said she's given up drinking for the baby, but is still smoking.. It's as bad as each other...

This is a common case of what this shithole of a country is turning into, a boozed up, dirty smoking fag end of a shithole we call home. It's like half the fucking kids these days are brought up in an upstanding home and taught right form wrong, left from right and manners, and the other half are brought up in a pub...

If you're going to have a kid, don't make a fucking scene of it, and at least do it when your damn body's ready, not when you've barely started your periods, have AA tits barely capable of allowing a kid to suck the non-existant milk form them, and dont have a single pubic hair on your body. Maybe, just maybe, these things might give you a clue to the fact you're pushing your limits every so damn slightly!

Still, that's bad, but Britain is in a state of crisis for common courtesy, and just generally doing what it means to be a friend.

If I was left alone for a night, what would I want? Simple. Someone to spend it with. If someone happened to come along, I would be happy yes? How about after they desert me...?

It's getting to a time when people are looking after number 1 for too long, too much, and too often. Noone is looking after anyone else, and it's a bloody mess.

Quite simply, if you're going to be a friend, be one, and be there for those you love,
huds601

DJ Chi: Unplugged (Starring Lou Diamond Phillips)

I hope at least some of you got the Aqua Teen Hunger Force reference :P If not..oopsie! Anyway, please tune in :) it's from 7-9pm Eastern time and 12-2am UK time.

The Oozinat0r!! LOL!

Before I get to my post, I want to remind folk on here of the fact I have another blog on my MySpace page and I have been posting more on it than I have here...sorry, but it's true. I have mentioned it in the past that I would probably be posting more on there and have pointed folk in the direction of it, but if you don't want to read what I write then I guess it's your prerogative *shrug* ...Nobody really comments on my posts anymore anyway...have been steps away from sayin fuck it to this blog and just maintaining the MySpace one, but the folk that openly refuse to even touch MySpace won't be able to read my 'musings'... just be aware I pretty much daily on the other site, so if there are days that go by without a post here you'll know why.

So here's the post:
Go here! It has a link to the commercial as well as some select reviews of the product. When I first watched the ad I asked myself "Is that....GAWLDS it looks that way!" You'll see what I mean. I wonder if 'A's Oozinator shoots quite as far as the ones advertised

I Love MadLibs!!!

I can't believe how much I love MadLibs type things!!! Here is one I came up with from Fuali.com

Subject:  The CUNTY COUCHES in the BEDROOM and Other Business.
From: Mr. BLUE, CHAIR Supervisor
To: All Employees of FEROCIOUS KITTY Inc.
It has come to my MASSIVE attention that the BEDROOM has been VERY FUCKED OFF with CUNTY COUCHES. I am tired of dealing with DUMB employees and their CUNTY COUCHES. The BEDROOM is meant for FUCKING. It is not a DORK room.

On a more PHENOMENAL note, I would like to PWN all of you for the SHITTY work you all did on the BLACK GLASS account. You should all be QUICKLY KILLED.

Also, be sure to welcome VAR, the newest member of the KITTEN department. They will be a FUNNY DOOR to our family.

SEXILY Yours,
Mr. BLUE, CHAIR Supervisor.


Make yer own!!!! Cos you can't have mine! But here is a fairy tale one:

Once upon a time there was a young HOOKER named VAR. He was MASTURBATING in the UGLY forest when he met STINKY CONNOR, a run-away DUMBASS from the CUNTY Queen LYNDSEY LOHAN.

VAR could see that STINKY CONNOR was hungry so he reached into his BARREL and gave him his FUCKED-UP QUORN. STINKY CONNOR was thankful for VAR's QUORN, so he told VAR a very BOOTIFUL story about Queen LYNDSEY LOHAN's daughter CHI. How her mother, the CUNTY Queen LYNDSEY LOHAN, kept her locked away in a HOUSE protected by a gigantic KITTY, because CHI was so SLUTTY.

VAR TOUCHED HIMSELF. He vowed to STINKY CONNOR the DUMBASS that he would save the SLUTTY CHI. He would KILL the KITTY, and take CHI far away from her evil mother, the CUNTY Queen LYNDSEY LOHAN, and FUCK her.

Then, all of the sudden, there was a CUTE STORM and STINKY CONNOR the DUMBASS began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic KITTY from his story. CUNTY Queen LYNDSEY LOHAN FLEW out from behind a SPOON and struck VAR dead. In the far off HOUSE you could hear a DING!!.

THE END.

Happy Birthday Jules!

Image: Jules
Image courtesy of huds601

Well, sweet 16 already! What more cna be said other than you are now a prisoner of the state, and it's all downhill form here! I'm sure Chi will back me up as well!

Anyways, hope it's been a greaty one. Well, not alot may have happened, but hey, there's alot still to come.

Happy Birthday Jules!
Dan xxxxxx

Word of the Day (for Jules) : Immense

Shut Up, Vatican!

A little bit ago, I added to the 'FUCK' bulletin on MySpace and wanted to clarify something. It was not directed at anyone specific at all! It just seems like lately (maybe it's just me that has been noticing it) folks that choose to have and follow a religion are being ridiculed by folk who choose not to. As I have stated before, I believe in God...I was raised Protestant but I wouldn't nail down my belief to a specified religion. Seriously, subdividing a religion is annoying and pointless... I have no idea what the difference between a Protestant, a Lutheran, an Episcopalean (or however the fuck you spell it), or a Baptist is. Catholicism has a clearly definited difference in that it utilizes a lot of ritual and there's a helluva lot of saints to memorize. But I have a strong problem with folk who go door to door 'peddling' their religion. Jehova's Witnesses and Mormons being prime examples. Hell, I remember a time when the church I went to (when I was 5 or 6) went door to door in a rural Missouri town.

I don't like to (so I don't) attend Church...I think the film 'Stigmata' hit the nail on the head with the quote "The kingdom of God is within you and all around you. It is not within buildings of wood or stone. Split a piece of wood and you will find me. Look beneath a stone and I am there." No I am not preaching...I am saying I do understand what a friend of mine meant when she typed "Fuck the Religious Reich" (and the reason I am using her as an example is to further reinforce the fact I wasn't taking a jab at her or anyone at all in particular)...at least I THINK I know what she meant.

Christianity and Catholocism seem to preach that YOU MUST ATTEND CHURCH!!! In fact...they seem to preach a lot of things... but I think religion is what you make it. Should you choose to believe in God, you shouldn't have to go into a building to 'prove it.' And again, a religion shouldn't push itself on anyone or claim supremecy. Back in medieval times, the church used to be above king and country..the Church WAS, in essence, the government. Now it's not so much (except for the Catholics and the Pope etc etc)...in fact there is a policy in this country of separation of church and state (sometimes folk go a bit overboard in taking offense to EVERYTHING remotely religious...except if you are Muslim, then it's ok to have the Call to Prayer blared over a loud speaker from 6am to 10pm...at least in Hamtramck, but it's still not ok to have church bells ring...go figure http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/04/20/national/main612805.shtml, although the article says church bells ring in several places, I have not heard any in years). And now the Vatican (sort of home base for Catholicism) is taking legal action against the movie adaptation of the Davinci Code. For fuck's sake!! It's just a book and a movie! Don't you have anything better to do? Maybe do some humanitarian work instead of walking around in your holier than thou robes all day within your gold encrusted pala...I mean 'church.' I got annoyed and thought it a bit on the over-reactive retarded side when there was a 'fatwa' issued against an entire country (Sweden) for the actions of 1 newspaper because they did a charicature of mohammed (of course fatwas seem to get issued at the drop of a hat these days...oh no! We convicted a known terrorist to life in prison...we all must die! it's a wonder we all don't have death at our doorstep...unless maybe we do (like I give a fuck). I made the point in saying that Christians don't get all "Death to youuuu!!!" when Jesus or God are depicted in a less-than-holy way (sure they get upset, but they haven't become over-dramatic about it!)...and then this happens. Seriously what possible legal action can be taken? The film was made in Hollywood (that's in America)...what possible jurisdication does the Vatican have?? (By the way, the Vatican is in Italy...a whole other country..like Texas :P ).

My religion gets a bad rep because of folk who take it way too far (the Vatican...although Catholocism is pretty far away from my religion). All of these overly-sensitive bible-thumpers (the true meaning of the word, which has unfortunately become a stereotype for all Christians) who say Harry Potter is Satanic (in fact, my grandmother and some cousins in my family say this without even having read the books...yet my mom who is a Christian loves the books...). There is also a group down south (go figure) that bastardizes the Christian faith by picketing soldier funerals, tormenting the already bereaved families of the slain, and claiming it's God's  will... wow! Way to give us a further bad name, you cunts!

My point WAS (before I got effing distracted and went off on a tangent) that I am a firm believer in accepting folks regardless of their religion and not believing my religion to be superior to all others or lack thereof. People should be free to believe what they want to without the possibility of being ridiculed for it. I have friends who are Buddhist, Muslim, Wiccan, Jewish, and a lot of my friends (remarkably) are Agnostic (in fact, my boyfriend is Agnostic). The only 'religion' I might have a problem with is Satanism, since it isn't necessarily a 'harm no one' religion complete with blood rituals and sacrifices. In fact, I don't think I would even have a problem with someone who believes in Voodoo (I personally find Voodoo and Wicca very interesting, yet they contradict my faith quite blatantly). But I have a problem with folk who stereotype those of us who choose to follow a religion and create an uncomfortable environment for them because of it... those who have a religion should feel just as free (and comfortable) to believe in what they want as those who don't. I know this posting seems to talk in circles... in one breath I say that folk shouldn't be lambasted because of their religion or lack thereof and I did some lambasting of the Catholic church...etc. Oh well, I suck.

Enough of my whining...everyone knows the one true God is TV anyway (I'm kidding, JESUS! Cut my hea...yeah not gonna suggest that either :P ) Be not afraid...a normal ranty blog post (like ones you all are used to reading from me) will be posted sometime today. Please don't flame me, or I will burninate you!